Don't Pull Away
by mill-mill11
Summary: Mittens finds herself sitting on the balcony alone when a familiar dog comes out to join her. version 2.0


_**Hello. I suppose it's been a while, I guess you all think I've disappeared from the face of the earth. I'm truly sorry. Things are tough lately, I haven't been able to focus on anything.. But I just want to say that the messages you send me I am taking to heart and I am deeply sorry.**_

_**So here's the deal. I've lost my motivation, my will to keep writing. However with the reviews I got on all my stories and the messages I got, I WANT to continue! I want to write for you all! So here you go. I re-writ my story Don't pull away, and I want to know what you think. It's over three times as long as the original, and this is just how I write now. Can I still write? Do I still have the style and ability that you all seemed to love? If I do, I'll do my best to keep working for you all! If you still enjoy my writing then I will keep writing. So, please read this and let me know, am I still as good as I was?**_

_**I'm relying on you, my readers.**_

**Disclaimer : I don't own Bolt. If I did, there would be some more Bolt x Mittens cute scenes in it.**

**Mittens' P.O.V. 1st person**

I sighed, looking up at the stars of the cold December night. It was never like this back when I was just an ally cat. I would be lucky to see thirty, maybe even just fifteen of the blinking lights up in the sky. But now I could just count them forever, never being satisfied that I had seen them all. There are so many stars in the sky; and if what Penny had said earlier was true almost all of them are bigger then Earth! A cool breeze hit me and I felt a shiver shoot up my spine, now that's something I remember from the alleys. But the soft and pin-like breeze is almost comforting when I think about it, and I decide not to head inside just yet. Knowing that even though I'm living with these people I can still enjoy my freedom and fresh air is a nice thought; I can't help but let the corners of my lips creep upwards without my permission.

I'm truly happy that I was adopted by Penny. There is nothing like knowing that you are loved and accepted by others, especially to an ex-alley cat but there is just something missing deep down... There is a space in my heart that hurts every time I think about before, about my previous family. I know it has to be filled before I can truly settle down with Bolt and the others but I just don't know how to fill it. Or what to fill it with. Maybe just mindless activities? Like the ones Bolt enjoys, throwing a stick across the yard or maybe tossing a ball for him. Those always fill the hole, but they're only temporary fixes.. It always opens back up once we're done playing… I hear the door creak open behind me, I guess I hadn't closed it all the way and the wind pulled it out. I ignore the sound and continue to gaze at the stars but I'm not really looking at them anymore. I'm just staring forward blankly. What should I do about this hole in my heart…

Suddenly a voice comes from behind me making me jump a little and lose my focus, "What're you doing out here Mittens?" the voice says. My head snaps around to him and my eyes widen for a second before I register that it's only that ridiculous dog and not a threat at all. I try to calm myself down but I can't seem to. My blood is rushing through my veins quickly, I can almost hear my pulse! I know that Bolt's not dangerous, and yet my chest tightens as if he was. What's going on? Bolt smiles as he lay down beside me, he has that goofy expression on that he'd worn ever since I taught him about living like a true dog. His soft white hair sways back and forth in the light breeze as his amber eyes stare up at me waiting for a response. However I can't reply for a minute, I can't even think. What is this feeling? My chest won't loosen up, but I'm not scared at all!

I finally collect my composure, and I try to lie down like I usually do beside him and reply softly "thinking, and looking at the stars. That's all aren't they beautiful?" Did I really just say beautiful? I never say words like that! I can't get comfortable, so I decide to flip over onto my back. I'm not facing Bolt anymore but instead I fix my gaze once again up into the starry sky. It almost seems bright even though it's probably close to midnight already. It feels nice to be close to Bolt. I feel a little safer than I did before when I was alone in the night. I can practically feel the heat radiating off the white dog's fur and for just the slightest of moments the emptiness is gone. It simply vanished and I feel it being replaced with a small warm glow on the inside of my chest where I know my heart to be. Yet it only lasts a moment, once the dog's heat leaves me so does whatever was filling the void. Maybe if I can get a little closer to him…

"Oh" He replies a little questioningly, "Well what're you thinking about cat?" Bolt rolls onto his back as well, rolling towards me and satisfying the gap between the two of us. His heat is back, I can feel the void melting away... "Anything important?" He asks impatiently and slightly tilting his head towards me. That stupid grin sends a small shock right through my body, I can't help it but it also worries me. Why am I reacting like this, I never have before! But he's also never been this close.. What's he planning?.. The wind pushes his big ears back a bit and Bolt laughs a little. So his ears are ticklish eh? Bolt's eyes continue to stare at me and I'm pulled back to reality. He asked a question didn't he.. What was it? Oh yeah!

"No, nothing interesting really. I was just thinking about life. Y'know, what I should do, what I should work towards." I reply calmly, keeping my cool. I need a distraction; at this rate Bolt will notice something is wrong with me. What if he doesn't like it, that I have this hole.. Suddenly I remember there was one thing I didn't teach Bolt about being a dog, and it's the perfect way to divert his attention away from me! I roll towards the dog, and push my declawed paw over Bolt's belly. Grinning widely, I start to rub back and forth kinda fast. I really hope this works, I'd only heard of it and never actually tried it! Why would I have, I've never been close to a dog like this before. Bolt's body jolts up in surprise for a second and his eyes widen but only for a second. He starts to relax as I continue to move my paw over his soft fur and I even see his leg twitching a bit. It works!

"That feels really good Mittens!" Bolt says, chuckling and now padding his foot on the ground over and over again. This dog is so oblivious, he's completely forgotten about the conversation we were having, success! I'll just continue rubbing the dog's belly until he either falls asleep of changes the topic. However after a minute Bolt speaks again, pushing my paw off of him and asking "So? What did you come up with about what you should do in life?" It didn't work? But- but it should have! Did I not do it right? Do I need claws for it to work? However looking up at Bolt's big eyes I figure it out. Scratching his belly didn't distract him because he is determined to find my answer. And not only that, but the Dog's eyes are filled with.. Worry? He looks almost scared; I hadn't seen this in him since our Journey together to find Penny.

I sigh softly and reply "I don't know." I answer carefully not wanting to upset him. After all, I don't even know why he is being nervous. I need to tell him about the hole.. If I don't I'll never get over it. I wait a minute, and then add on "but there is this emptiness in my chest. It's like something might be missing. Something that could be important. And I'd like to find out what it is." Bolt nods as I finish, listening intently. His eyes don't change however; they still seem just as, if not more so scared.

"I know what you mean Mittens." He replies softly. I have to perk up my ears just to hear the dog speak. "I feel the same way sometimes. It's not quite so bad when you or Penny is around, but it's still there." He feels the hole too? It's not just me? I'm snapped back to reality as I feel something warm on my paw and look down quickly. It's Bolt's paw.. Looking back up slowly and a little scared I see the dog smiling softly. For a moment everything seems to slow down, I can feel the soft wind on my cheek and smell a sweet flowery scent. It must be the flowers Penny had planted in the garden, but I didn't smell them earlier. Then Bolt speaks, saying softly yet confidently "I like this, being out here with you Mittens."

I know exactly what he is feeling, I can't describe it well but I just know. My heart feels like its racing and yet not pumping at all, my cheeks feel like they are burning and my limbs are going stiff. What's happening?.. Suddenly there is a huge cold breeze of wind! It flows through the porch and straight through me chilling my bones! Instinctively I want warmth, and there is only source of warmth nearby. Before I have a chance to think about my actions I push myself into the dog as close as I possibly can! I just want to be warm, I want to feel safe, I want to feel… like someone is protecting me.. And for a moment I feel it all. It is perfection. But after a second I realize what I'd done and place my paws up on the dog's chest ready to push off! "I'm sorry!" I yell, and press my paws forward. I should move back, shouldn't I? I should be moving further away from the dog but instead I feel myself getting puled closer into his fur. Bolt's arms are around me holding me against him, why isn't he letting me go? I keep pushing but the dog doesn't budge. "Bolt, what the heck!" I yell, feeling too vulnerable. Feeling too much like a girl who needs help and not like the strong woman I want to be! "Bolt?.."

After a moment I hear his voice and I feel his death grip loosen a little. But I don't push away from him, I cant. "Mittens, can you tell me something?" I nod slowly, and even though the dog isn't looking down at me I know he can feel it and continues. "The empty feeling you were talking about earlier. Is it still there? Do you still feel the hole in your chest?" What is he talking abou- wait.. It's gone! The feeling is completely gone! This has never happened, it's usually just filled up a little but I can't feel it at all! Why, what's different, what is fixing this hole in my- Wait.. it can't be…

My lip is shaking, but I'm not cold. My limbs feel frozen in place and yet my body feels hot. What's going on? It can't be Bolt, he can't be the one that's doing this to me! And then it hits me, I remember when I first felt the emptiness. The trailer park, after I had taught this ridiculous dog how to beg. I thought the feeling was hunger but even after filling my stomach to the point of it hurting the emptiness remained. "Bolt?.." I look up slowly to find that the dog is looking back down at me. I meet his gaze and can't help but be surprised at how deep the dog's eyes seem to be. Physically they are the same as usual but I can see deeper than that. All along this empty feeling.. Was it… Love? I should be afraid right now. A dog and a cat? In love? That's just stupid! I've seen some pretty crazy romance movies on Penny's T.V. but this was on a whole different level! I can't love Bolt, I just can't! But.. I like being close to him. The big dog helps me feel safe, and that annoying space in my chest has vanished. This may be crazy but.. I… I love Bolt.

Then the dog's soft voice comes to me. I'm frightened, I can barely breathe, it feels like I'm going through shock and the last thing I need is the object of my pain speaking to me. He's going to hate me if he ever finds out, he'll never accept me! He'll get rid of me just like my previous 'family'. Nobody loves me, how could anyone? I'm a declawed cat with no future.. All these thoughts race through my head in a split-second and I wince at his voice but he says something that surprises me greatly. "Mittens, I don't know why, but I like this. Please, _don't pull away_." Bolt says quietly.

Don't pull away. The three words echo in my head and I can't think straight with them causing anarchy in my thoughts. That's it, I can't stand this! I have to tell Bolt I love him, if I don't then the hole will only grow until it eats my heart completely. I'd rather hear Bolt reject me than have him never know my feelings. If there has ever been a time for me to swallow my pride and be strong it's now. I move my arms down to wrap around the dog's waist, and I can feel his tighten on my shoulder blades. My paws dig into the dog's sides and I inhale deeply. "Bolt, I love you. I'm sorry, I just can't help it! And I always will, I can't stand just being beside you as a friend. I need more.. I'll take my leave in the morning."

Instantly I feel Bolt's arms tighten around my small body and pull me closer than ever before. It felt like he was scared, like he had just heard the worst news of his like and I didn't understand. But then the dog says confidently "You can't leave me Mittens, you're mine." My head exploded, what did he just say? However he continues, adding "I won't ever let anybody hurt you again Mittens, I brought you from the alley and you're my responsibility now. Stay with me, I promise I'll never hurt you or make you cry! I won't let anybody ever make you upset again! Mittens, I love you. Not in the same way I love Penny, but in a way I don't really understand.. You fill the hole in my heart, and I know I belong with you. Please never say you'll leave.."

You stupid dog! Didn't you just say you'd never make me cry? And yet the tears come freely streaking down my cheeks. I can't say anything, I can barely breathe, I guess just squeezing him as tight as I possibly can will have to do. Simply pressing my head against his chest will have to send him my answer.

'I love you Bolt'

_**A/N: Well, there it is.. I tried really hard on this and I wanted to put my heart into it. I may re-edit it again soon, but I'm too tired right now.. I need to sleep.. Please review OR send me a private message. Is my writing still what it used to be? Do you still enjoy it? If so, I will continue and work on my other un-finished stories.**_

_**I love you all, and I'm truly sorry.**_

_**~mill-mill11~**_


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